It’s the Relationship, Stupid

One of the best known lines in politics over the twenty years is: It’s the economy, stupid! , referring to what matters most to the electorate when it comes to voting in presidential elections. The phrase was originally coined by Bill Clinton’s campaign manager in the early 90s in an effort to keep the candidate focused during the long election campaign.

When it comes to the issue of sin, I need a similar reminder to keep myself on track—it’s the relationship, stupid. Too often I completely misunderstand sin, thinking of it as nothing more than “breaking God’s rules”. But in focusing on “do’s and don’ts”, I completely miss the bigger picture.

Yet, as Kenneth Bailey writes in his book The Cross And The Prodigal, the parable of the Prodigal Son offers three revealing insights into sin’s true cost.

Younger Son’s Impatient Request

First, when the younger son asks his father for “his share”, the common assumption is that his request was in violation of the Law. However, it technically was not prohibited for the son to ask this.* At the same time, such a demand was unheard of. Bailey notes, “It…was impossible for any son to request his portion of the family wealth while his father still lived. Every Middle Eastern peasant [I talk to] understands this instinctively…This request means he wants his father to die!” Jesus makes it clear that the younger son’s sin was not about breaking rules, but instead about breaking his father’s heart.

Younger Son’s Reality Check

Second, when the younger son decides to return to his father after spending his inheritance and going hungry, his plan was to go back and repay what he owed his dad working as a servant. Yet, when he was confronted with the splendor of his father’s love, he changed course. While he repented, he decided not to verbalize his plan offering to work off the debt. Bailey believes the reason for this is very clear:

Faced with this incredible event that he could have never predicted, he is flooded with the awareness that his real sin is not the lost money but rather the wounding of his father’s heart. The reality and enormity of his sin and the resulting intensity of his father’s suffering overwhelm him. There is nothing he can do to make up for this. His proposed offer to work as a servant now seems blasphemous.

Jesus is showing us that our own human effort cannot remedy the profound effects of sin, because “works” cannot repair a damaged heart.

Older Son’s Public Slap-In-The-Face

Third, because he was the “good kid”, the older son offers perhaps an even more striking example of the meaning of sin. The older son, like the Pharisees, followed the letter of the law perfectly, but, as we learned last week, he still broke the relationship with his father. His refusal to attend his brother’s celebration was a public slap in the face to his dad and his subsequent heated conversion with his father revealed a deep disdain for him. Jesus makes it perfectly obvious to the Pharisees that the older son was rebelling as much as the younger son. Obeying rules and regulations is meaningless if performed without true love for Him.

Why Be Good?

Looking at these three examples, I am realizing that, when it comes to sin: it’s the relationship, stupid! Sin is not about breaking rules or “do’s and don’ts”; sin is all about hurting God. My sin wounds the heavenly Father, just like the sons in the Prodigal Son broke their father’s heart.

Paul poses the question in Romans on why Christians need to be good when grace abounds. But, as I begin to understand what sin really is, even asking such a question seems unthinkable. Philip Yancey comments, “Paul started with: why be good? Really that is the wrong question. It should be: why love?”

So, the next time you are faced with temptation, think instead of the image of the hurt father when both of his sons disobey, disown, and show outward defiance towards him. Is your sin worth breaking God’s heart?

* NOTE : Deut. 21:17 notes that the younger son’s portion is one third, but the law does not specifically state that the son must wait for his father’s death

Originally published in 2001